Kennedy

I think it changed my brain chemistry.

I used to think that my best friend’s devotion to Sex and the City should be studied. When I met her – Black, 14, raised in the suburbs – I never, not once, took her seriously when she would tell me to watch SATC. But when her phone rang, it blasted the upbeat jazz intro (it still does twelve years later), and when she got a notification, I was looking at a picture of this blonde curly-haired woman smiling up at a tall white man. All of my other friends would reference Spongebob, which I also didn’t watch, but that was because my mom didn’t want us seeing “dumb” tv shows (we had to sneak and watch The Amanda Show, CatDog, Ed, Edd, & Eddy, etc.). Unlike my other friends, my best friend would reference SATC. Either way, I frequently had no idea what anyone was talking about.

I couldn’t always escape the shows and movies that she cherished. She made me watch Harry Potter, Pride and Prejudice, and even the first SATC movie. For some reason, nothing could stick. That was until autumn of 2023.

Over the summer, my other bestfriend – Black, 26, also raised in the suburbs – binged the entire series of SATC. By then, I had seen the clips and screenshots of the… distasteful episodes that were getting slaughtered online. Suffice it to say, my desire to watch it had hit an all time low. However! She explained that this show was still very good and how it impacted her. It’s not that I value her opinion more, it’s that I didn’t realize how much detailed convincing I needed. And also I finally had access to HBO.

So I started watching slowly. An episode or two here. Then maybe a few days/weeks later, an episode, or two, or three there. Suddenly, without warning, after finishing Succession (which I also didn’t think I would like), I started binging SATC. I was deep in it. I was moving so fast through them that my devoted SATC best friend was astonished. “You’re already on season three? The last time I talked to you, you were on season one!” I was mentioning plots in episodes that even she didn’t remember. It was a satisfying feeling to hear her say that she had been waiting years to have discussions about certain scenes and specific characters.

Now, here is where it takes a turn for the adventurous. I book a flight to go visit this same friend, it’s becoming a sort of tradition to see her for Halloween, and I download the ever entertaining but mostly dreadful Hinge app. Similar to how when I watch too much Love Island UK I speak in a British accent, or when I watched too much Mob Wives I started fake fights in my head, I watched too much SATC and it gave me the confidence to have breezy and flirtatious dating experiences. It wasn’t the only ingredient though, because I have seen how much I blossom when I live independently: I am able to be more decisive, I listen to myself better, and I give myself the space to push myself even when I’m nervous. SATC was like the secret spice of effortlessness that had me leaving my dates thinking “who was that in there”? I asked for what I wanted, I spoke up, and I wasn’t afraid to be myself. I felt light and cheeky and not bogged down by my fears of rejection. Yes, maybe this all just comes with getting older, or maybe it’s simply the fact that I didn’t live in that city so I felt more free, but I truly believe that watching SATC when I did was perfect timing.

There is nothing like relatability. Although Carrie, Charlotte, Miranda, and Samantha would not be characterized as “relatable”, watching those episodes felt cozy in a way that I understood. I’m a late bloomer, and although I am new to the game, there were so many instances where the main characters go through outrageous stuff, but I laughed and nodded in a way that I wouldn’t have in high school, or in college. It was a beautiful reminder, and a comfort to me, that no matter how experienced you are, you can still deal with stuff that takes you by surprise or you’ve never done before. Stuff that you have to ask your girlfriends about, or write about, or put off processing as you endlessly window shop online. That was probably the biggest take away for me on that Halloween trip, as I crammed more and more episodes into any free time that I had. I always felt shame because I labeled myself as “inexperienced”, but I’ve decided to change it into a verb. Maybe “I’m experiencing new things”? Just like the main characters do in every episode.

In the end, I had a great time on my trip, and I’m hoping that whatever happens I can continue to show love that I’m unafraid. I feel like SATC ushered me into a new chapter of myself, one where I see how far my confidence can take me, one of strength and showing my guilt and shame that I understand it’s purpose but it doesn’t have a home here. Above all, I am so thankful for SATC because it highlights friendship in the series, the movies, and in And Just Like That. I remember the days where growing up I felt like “chosen family” and trusting my friends more than my blood was like a slap in the face to my parents. To see on screen the importance of the people you decide to be in your life was very validating to watch. So here’s to friendship, here’s to confidence, and here’s to the fun and freeing adventures that sex (and the city) takes us on.

Love,

I Don’t Have a Favorite SATC Character Yet But Charlotte Has Become My Favorite in AJLT